Quote of the Day

Emotions are like passing storms, and you have to remind yourself that it won't rain forever.  You just have to sit down and watch it pour outside and then peek your head out when it looks dry.

-- Amy Poehler, Yes Please, p. 237-238

Quote of the Day

Everything depends on perspective, and how much you're willing to let people know the real you.  Some tall folks hunch over, trying to make themselves smaller.  Some short folks wear heels, trying to make themselves taller.  Me?  I don't want a hurt back or sore feet.  I want to walk along comfortably, content to let people think whatever they're going to think.  I've learned, through a lot of trial and error, that the rewards of being authentic far outweigh the risks.

-- Brittney Griner with Sue Hovey, In My Skin, p. 215

Quote of the Day

Odd as it seems, punishment keeps a blackmailer in a strong emotional connection with you.  In creating a highly charged atmosphere, blackmailers know they are activating the target's feelings for them, and even if the feelings are negative, they've created a tight bond.  You may resent or even hate the blackmailer, but as long as your focus is on them, they haven't been abandoned or discarded with indifference.  Punishment keeps a lot of passion and heat in a fractured relationship.

-- Susan Forward with Donna Frazier, Emotional Blackmail, p. 98

Quote of the Day

My dream was not to publish or to even be a writer: my dream was to discover something no one else had thought of.  I guess that's why I'm a poet.  We put things together in ways no one else does.

-- Nikki Giovanni

Quote of the Day

We either own our stories (even the messy ones), or we stand outside of them -- denying our vulnerabilities and imperfections, orphaning the parts of us that don't fit in with who/what we think we're supposed to be, and hustling for other people's approval of our worthiness.  Perfectionism is exhausting because hustling is exhausting.  It's a never-ending performance.

-- Brene Brown, Daring Greatly, p. 132-133

Quote of the Day

Art should provoke, disturb, arouse our emotions, expand our sympathies in directions we may not anticipate and may not even wish.

-- Joyce Carol Oates

Quote of the Day

Individuals who believe that they feel what they ought to feel and constantly do their best not to feel what they forbid themselves to feel will ultimately fall ill -- unless, that is, they leave it to their children to pick up the check by projecting onto them the emotions they cannot admit to themselves.

-- Alice Miller, The Body Never Lies, p. 15

Quote of the Day

When someone is being rude, abusing their power, or not respecting you, just call them out in a really obvious way.

-- Amy Poehler, Yes Please, p. 237

Quote of the Day

Being true to myself has often been at odds with my desire to please others.  I've spent years trying so hard to be the version of myself that would make the most people happy.  Over time, though, I've come to realize that no matter how much I compromise, some people will never understand me.  And accepting this truth has given me a new level of comfort and freedom. 

-- Brittney Griner with Sue Hovey, In My Skin, p. 46

Quote of the Day

Most blackmailers believe they really are teaching us valuable lessons.

-- Susan Forward with Donna Frazier, Emotional Blackmail, p. 96

Quote of the Day

Mommy had a wonderful library.  Richard Wright, Langston Hughes, Paul Laurence Dunbar ... but she also read trashy books that she kept in the back of her closet.  I remember a nun once saying to me that Black Boy by Richard Wright was a bad book.  I knew better but I thank her for letting me know just because you are grown and a nun you don't necessarily know what is a good from a bad book.

-- Nikki Giovanni

Quote of the Day

In addition to practicing self-compassion (and trust me, like gratitude and everything else worthwhile, it's a practice), we must also remember that our worthiness, that core belief that we are enough, comes only when we live inside our own story.

-- Brene Brown, Daring Greatly, p. 132

Quote of the Day

Once social change begins, it cannot be reversed.  You cannot un-educate the person who has learned to read.  You cannot humiliate the person who feels pride.  You cannot oppress the people who are not afraid anymore.

-- Cesar Chavez

Quote of the Day

Emotions are not a luxury, they are a complex aid in the fight for existence.

-- Antonio R. Damasio

Quote of the Day

Your career and your passion don't always match up.  Plenty of talented people don't have the careers they want.  Plenty of untalented people make millions and make movies.

-- Amy Poehler, Yes Please, p. 221

Quote of the Day

I haven't always embraced the parts of me that are different, because when you're young, it's scary to voluntarily step away from the mainstream.  But I eventually realized that faking it is draining, and that the more people who raise their hands and say, "This is me," the more they help empower other people to do the same.

-- Brittney Griner with Sue Hovey, In My Skin, p. 42-43

Quote of the Day

Like parents who believe that punishment will mold a child's character, blackmailers may convince themselves that they're helping us with their punishments.  Instead of feeling guilt or remorse about hurting someone they care so much about, they can actually feel pride.  They're making better people of us, they reason.

-- Susan Forward with Donna Frazier, Emotional Blackmail, p. 95

Quote of the Day

I can't explain why I still own vinyl records … Believe me, I don't keep those albums because they're suddenly fashionable.  No, I think it's a combination of sentimentality, nostalgia and pleasure, three closely related moods.

-- Todd Leopold, "In praise of vinyl records"

Quote of the Day

Mindfulness: Taking a balanced approach to negative emotions so that feelings are neither suppressed nor exaggerated.  We cannot ignore our pain and feel compassion for it at the same time.  Mindfulness requires that we not "over-identify" with thoughts and feelings, so that we are caught up and swept away by negativity.

-- Brene Brown, Daring Greatly, p. 132

Quote of the Day

Every time we have the audacity to share our intimate story and educate someone about what it means to be gay in America, we change hearts and minds.  Through this film and book we are sharing personal and private stories of heroism.  We want what everyone in America wants: to live a life without discrimination.

-- Ingrid Duran and Catherine Pino, The Out List, p. 126

Quote of the Day

Over the next two years, I successfully conquered interactions too numerous to list here, and each time I said the words -- "I'm gay" or "This is my girlfriend" -- I felt a little lighter, the burden a bit easier the more I shared my truth.  At first I would have to force the words out of my mouth, like pushing a car uphill, practically sweating from the effort.  Now, the thought of lying about who I am makes me feel sick, the same way the truth used to.

-- Kate Fagan, The Reappearing Act, p. 182

Quote of the Day

Everyone wants to believe they will be the regular guy from Sioux City who becomes a reluctant movie star despite his best attempts to remain a sensitive tattoo artist.  People don't want to hear about the fifteen years of waiting tables and doing small shows with your friends until one of them gets a little more famous and they convince people to hire you and then you get paid and you work hard and spend time getting better and making more connections and friends.

-- Amy Poehler, Yes Please, p. 219

Quote of the Day

It seems like an odd thing to say, but being who you are can take practice, especially when who you are doesn't fit neatly into the vision that society has for how you should act, what you should wear, who you should love.

-- Brittney Griner with Sue Hovey, In My Skin, p. 42

Quote of the Day

Devaluation is a common tactic for angry blackmailers.  It softens the sting of confrontation and enables them to downplay their feelings of loss.

-- Susan Forward with Donna Frazier, Emotional Blackmail, p. 95

Quote of the Day

By looking inward deeply I'm trying to get outside myself and connect with other people.

-- Alison Bechdel, "Drawn from Life: The world of Alison Bechdel."

Quote of the Day

Regardless of where we are on this continuum, if we want freedom from perfectionism, we have to make the long journey from "What will people think?" to "I am enough."  That journey begins with shame resilience, self-compassion, and owning our stories.  To claim the truths about who we are, where we come from, what we believe, and the very imperfect nature of our lives, we have to be willing to give ourselves a break and appreciate the beauty of our cracks or imperfections.  To be kinder and gentler with ourselves and each other.  To talk to ourselves the same way we'd talk to someone we care about.

-- Brene Brown, Daring Greatly, p. 131

Quote of the Day

I don't really know why the Republicans are using such hideous and mean anti-gay rhetoric.  The idea that you have to lift yourself up by pulling other people down, it's just not nice and I don't understand why you would want to be on the international stage and behave in a way that your mother would have told you isn't nice.  Your mother told you not to pick on people.

-- Christine Quinn, The Out List, p. 116

Quote of the Day

Years later, a colleague would offer me the most beautiful analogy about the emotional impact of living this way, the pain of living in a glass closet.  You tell yourself that you're just wearing a coat, protecting yourself in public, against the elements.  You tell yourself it's just temporary, that someday you'll take off the coat and be the real you.  But eventually, years later, when the time comes and you're finally ready to shed it forever, you realize you can't.  The coat has become your skin.

-- Kate Fagan, The Reappearing Act, p. 173

Quote of the Day

Good or bad, the reality is most people become "famous" or get "great jobs" after a very, very long tenure shoveling shit and not because they handed their script to someone on the street.

-- Amy Poehler, Yes Please, p. 219

Quote of the Day

This constant quest to find the right balance is also a big reason I'm sharing my story, because I think anyone who has ever struggled to walk a different path, while also trying to fit in, can appreciate the difficulty of that journey and the lessons learned along the way.  In telling my story, I've come to understand myself on a deeper level, to think about how I can be the best version of myself, not just the version that others want to see.

-- Brittney Griner with Sue Hovey, In My Skin, p. 2