Quote of the Day

... there is no better compass than compassion.

-- Amanda Gorman, Call Us What We Carry, p. 48

Quote of the Day

Our wounds, too, are our windows.  Through them we watch the world.

-- Amanda Gorman, Call Us What We Carry, p. 43

Quote of the Day

We were told never to use I when writing, because eliminating this voice makes arguments legitimate.  But we realize there is nothing that convinces like the self does -- our life, our body & its beating, proving its own jagged point.  Tell us what is more powerful than the unerased.

-- Amanda Gorman, Call Us What We Carry, p. 32

Quote of the Day

The most beautiful thing about (Peter Jackson's Beatles) documentary [Get Back] is that it shows the true way that creativity starts is you have to go through old ideas ... And you see Paul McCartney do that.  He goes to old Beatles songs or old Tin Pan Alley.  And John Lennon, he is either referencing Little Richard or Chuck Berry.  The reason that's super important for the world to see is because I know the framing of hip-hop is as "that's not real music.  They're just taking other music and claiming it as their own."  So what we just watched [the Beatles do] for those nine hours, that's hip-hop.  That's them using other songs to spark an idea for another song.  So finally, you get absolute proof the world's most loved band did their version of what Pete Rock and DJ Premier and J Dilla always did, which is you take old records, and you try to make them into new records.  And that, to me, is the important lesson in it all.

-- Questlove, Rolling Stone Q&A, February 2022

Quote of the Day

This is why we're upset.  This why we protest.  This is why we say with raised voices and raised fists that "Black lives matter!"  It's not because we don't believe that white lives matter.  It's not because we believe that all police officers everywhere are corrupt.  It's not because we are playing victim to the past.  It's not because we are greedy and are not thankful for what progress in equality has been made thus far.  We're upset because we are tired of having to fight tooth and nail for what systems have created as given rights that most white Americans have always just been entitled to, but that help to perpetuate division and a hierarchical society.  We're upset because what has been considered rights for many, have often seemed to be gifts of charity for all the rest of us who are not straight white tow-the-line people.

-- Andrea Krystal, Can Black People Grow Hair?, p. 114

Quote of the Day

It's a little easier for us to make some allowances for people that are expressing trauma from COVID-19 because we are all experiencing the effects of it ... It's much easier for us to make certain allowances for a plethora of people's behaviors when we have a shared experience with them.  With racism and discrimination, the reality is that it simply isn't a shared experience for everyone.  It's harder for many people to find something they can understand about it.  It's harder to make allowances for behaviors that result from it if you've never experienced it.  It's harder to identify the intention of someone, if you don't know what it's like to live a life in which these are realities and are things that shape the way you see the world.  Why is it that someone can call their Governor a tyrant for placing restrictions to help keep Americans safe and people more readily support that, but when someone calls a law enforcement officer a racist as a result of their blatant display of racism, they are considered anti-American?

-- Andrea Krystal, Can Black People Grow Hair?, p. 110-111

Quote of the Day

Trauma is not an isolated thing and it isn't always brought on by extreme experiences.  Sometimes traumas creep up inside you while you're just living your life and thinking something you've experienced is "normal."  And it's not until years go by that you (become) aware of how that exchange affected how you interact with the world.

-- Andrea Krystal, Can Black People Grow Hair?, p. 108

Quote of the Day

Our inability to escape certain realities doesn't change the fact that there are many who had the luxury of hiding from them.  So, when I consider this, sometimes sharing (a large portion) of my truth feels too heavy to me.  It feels too much of a burden, not only to share, but to try and enlighten someone about, especially if you know that their primary Black experience is you.  I feel that if my truth is too heavy for me, and I've been living with it my whole life, then will they be crushed under the weight of it?  Not having awareness of the truth makes them privileged and me treating them like they're too delicate to handle the truth keeps them privileged.  This is the cycle myself and other people of color sometimes struggle with.

-- Andrea Krystal, Can Black People Grow Hair?, p. 105-106

Quote of the Day

I believe that Black lives matter and I also advocate for all lives.  Anytime someone wants to yell "white lives matter!" as a comeback to any talk about Black lives, my natural response is "They absolutely do."  The difference is that this country wasn't created at the expense of your life.  We didn't hang you from trees.  We didn't steal you from your home and bring you to ours to serve us, to be raped by us, and to be sold by us.  You haven't had to live in the United States with the reality that only about 70 years ago were we given legal freedom to eat where we wanted.  Having legal permission is not the same as being allowed to by individuals and communities.  Those are just facts.  Forget feelings.  Those are the facts.  If the tables were turned, if my Black privilege was instrumental in keeping you from feeling safe and truly a part of this country you helped create, and you finally found your voice to make sure people knew something had to change, I would probably feel a sense of discomfort as well.

-- Andrea Krystal, Can Black People Grow Hair?, p. 98

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During a moment when a Michigan business owner was getting backlash for accidentally sharing some borderline racist views on their business Facebook page, someone I knew shared a graphic in response to the news story that said BLM was a lie because "If Black lives really mattered then they'd stop shooting each other."  As much of a deflective response as that was, at no point should the violence of any community be a reason to ever imply that they don't deserve to advocate for the validity of their existence.  If there are those who want to use this as a believable argument, then it's also believable that "White lives matter" is also a lie.  There are white people killing other white people.  So, does every case of white-on-white violence mean that the white community doesn't actually care about themselves?  And is any attempt at advocating for their community to be safe and healthy a moot point?

-- Andrea Krystal, Can Black People Grow Hair?, p. 97

Quote of the Day

When I say "Black lives matter" it is neither tied to the organization, nor a statement to minimize the white experience.  When I say "Black lives matter"my intent is that it is a call to action.  It is like the order to march given to a soldier.  The organization has played its part in creating the statement, but it's been all of us that's brought the statement to life and have given it the ability to move across the world.  This is what I've tried to explain to those who choose to believe that BLM is solely a political agenda and is not, in fact, powered by people's desire to be treated justly.

-- Andrea Krystal, Can Black People Grow Hair?, p. 96-97

Quote of the Day

While you love in theory, people are being murdered in practice.  While you love only with words, people are being shot with bullets.  While you enjoy a chat about how scary the world is with your friends over a glass of wine, immigrant children are being held in cages, separated from their parents.  All of this is happening every day and yet there are those who are offended by anyone who calls attention to the fact that there's such a thing as privilege.  There are those so attached to the rightness they've experienced as part of their privilege that instead of seeking understanding and exploring their disconnect, they would rather silence the voice that threatens their comfort.  This is the America we all share and yet only a select group experiences and feels the effects of its social injustices, because not everyone has the luxury of living without being touched by them.

-- Andrea Krystal, Can Black People Grow Hair?, p. 94-95

Quote of the Day

The growing sentiment that I'm hearing right now from people who are doing the work of creating change, challenging their own comfort zones, and fighting for justice, is that they just can't help but feel angry all the time.  In fact, at times, it seems as if they are consumed by it.  Though it is exhausting and they would like a break from this new found constant boil of anger, in the back of their minds they're wondering "But if I'm not angry about what's happening in the world, then who will be?"  It's an age-old question those who have been angry about racism have been asking themselves for generations: "Why aren't more people outraged by this?"

-- Andrea Krystal, Can Black People Grow Hair?, p. 92-93

Quote of the Day

If you have recounted history and how this country was literally built on the backs of Black people, and if you have witnessed the injustices and brutality prevalent in our society today, I cannot imagine for a second that anyone would tell Black people that we do not have a reason to be angry.  That we don't have a reason to be frustrated, afraid, and skeptical of any partnerships formed with those in the white community.  Yet, as inconceivable as it is to me that there would be those who deny the stark evidence of brutality, racism, and bias, the reality is that there are still so many in denial of it.  There are still so many who choose to deny the Black community the history we have come from, the loss of life that has been as a result of historical and modern-day lynchings, the public displays of racism that are just a Google search or (Facebook) comment away.  They choose to discredit an entire people group and the lives of every civil rights leader our country has ever known.

-- Andrea Krystal, Can Black People Grow Hair?, p. 63

Quote of the Day

Once the veil is lifted from your eyes about inequality and you no longer see things through rose colored glasses, but you see things as they truly are, ignorance is no longer bliss.  It's a prison cell that you can't stand the idea of going back into.

-- Andrea Krystal, Can Black People Grow Hair?, p. 58

Quote of the Day

The happier I was with being Black, the more I celebrated it and loved it, the more the people who loved me wanted to join in on the celebration too.  I realized how I had done a great disservice to everyone, including myself, by allowing a co-dependent relationship between myself and the white community to go on for so long.  One where I was dependent on their validation and where some of them were dependent on me to be a cardboard cutout version of Black representation in their life.  I did a disservice to my friendships by not interacting with them authentically and allowing them to love me completely.

-- Andrea Krystal, Can Black People Grow Hair?, p. 58

Quote of the Day

Seemingly small but impactful interactions reinforce what most minorities already know, which is that our kind of difference is often looked at as something that needs a workaround.  So often our experience has included being required to be a reflection of normalcy so when people look at us, they're never faced with having to work at understanding what it is they are seeing.

-- Andrea Krystal, Can Black People Grow Hair?, p. 57

Quote of the Day

This is why living as a fractured version of ourselves is so detrimental.  It keeps us disconnected from the very people who can relate to us the most and can be pivotal in helping us connect to ourselves; because they may live a similar experience as you do every day.  You need the love and support of both those who have different experiences from you as well as those who have similar experiences as you are on this journey of deep work if you want to both be whole and experience the world as a whole.

-- Andrea Krystal, Can Black People Grow Hair?, p. 54

Quote of the Day

The path to living one's truth is not an easy route for people and oftentimes when it's different from the majority of people around them, it can be seen as a threat.  Even if only for the reason that is makes others confront their own fears, deficiencies, or stories.  The unfortunate fact is that there are some who are so willing to do anything to preserve their sense of self and their truth, that they will choose to exert their belief in it even at the expense of someone else's humanity, and in some cases, someone else's life. 

-- Andrea Krystal, Can Black People Grow Hair?, p. 53

Quote of the Day

Those who have the privilege of easily blending in at most places and can usually look around to find that they are surrounded by people who look like them, may feel unhindered in saying, "Who cares what people think.  You have to live your truth."  It's a nice sentiment in theory, but it's not easily achievable for everyone to practice if their specific truth is something that has a history of being the object of people's hate and abuse, and continues to be a source of the same, even today.  People still beat, murder, and degrade people who are different; every single day.

-- Andrea Krystal, Can Black People Grow Hair?, p. 52

Quote of the Day

Though the degree of these choices and the degree of risk may vary amongst us all, we [who are not white and/or straight] all in some way and at various points in our life approach the crossroads where we ask ourselves, how much of who we are do we want to compartmentalize or suppress in order to be treated like we're not different?  It's a devastating fact of the lives of those who are different, that many of sameness or "normalcy" might never fully understand the plight of.  It's so easy for those of privilege to say "Just be yourself! Who cares!" when they don't ever have to make the choice between being themselves or putting themselves in harm's way.  For some people and in certain situations, it is quite literally a choice between one or the other.

-- Andrea Krystal, Can Black People Grow Hair?, p. 52

Quote of the Day

So, every day we are faced with the choice of, we will do our best to fly under the radar, or live out our truth at the expense of, in some very real ways not only our acceptance, but even our safety.

-- Andrea Krystal, Can Black People Grow Hair?, p. 51

Quote of the Day

When you're young, you live how you were conditioned to live, but when you're an adult you have the ability to live the life you choose.  As an adult the excuse "That's just how I was raised" and "I've always been this way" won't hold up in court and it doesn't hold up in life anymore either.

-- Andrea Krystal, Can Black People Grow Hair?, p. 49-50

Quote of the Day

The thing about guilt is that it can become deceptively addictive.  It has a way of making you believe that guilt, in and of itself, is an act of change when in fact, it is not.  Oftentimes guilt shows up in our lives as an emotional response to an intellectual acknowledgment of our own lack of integrity in a certain area in our lives.  Guilt is usually just a signal that we should do better.  It's a precursor to change, but it is not the change itself.  If you're not careful you can find yourself settling in the cycle of guilt and feeling tied to it by the entitlement that says, "I should be congratulated for feeling guilty because bad people don't feel guilt, but I do."

-- Andrea Krystal, Can Black People Grow Hair?, p. 36-37

Quote of the Day

Racism and prejudice for the majority of people who aren't an extreme can be a lot like the person who's on a diet, has a cheat day, but still technically considers themselves on a diet.  Racism can be very similiar in that you don't have to do, or say, racist or prejudiced things every day in order to still have racism in your heart.

-- Andrea Krystal, Can Black People Grow Hair?, p. 35

Quote of the Day

I like to think of it as every time I react favorably to a man's degrading behavior toward me, I unintentionally support his degrading of women I don't know and the degrading of all of the young girls I haven't met.  That just hits a little too hard for me to be okay with letting certain interactions slide.

-- Andrea Krystal, Can Black People Grow Hair?, p. 29

Quote of the Day

When I feel understood, I feel safe.  When I feel understood, I feel cared about.  When I feel understood I feel braver.  When I feel understood I feel more anchored to my authentic self.

-- Andrea Krystal, Can Black People Grow Hair?, p. 10

Quote of the Day

People who feel empowered to make genuine connections with those who aren't the same as them become less fear driven and more curious.

-- Andrea Krystal, Can Black People Grow Hair?, p. 9