Before this [CD] collection (and the growing arsenal of records in the next room over ...) is inevitably handled down or tubbed up, it will remember the story of my life better than my battered brain ever could on its own.
-- Kris Swales, "Friends mock me for keeping my CDs, but I can't bear to part with these postcards from my past"
Listening to music should be an immersive experience. Streaming music [on the other hand] is something you mostly do while you're doing something else.
-- Kris Swales, "Friends mock me for keeping my CDs, but I can't bear to part with these postcards from my past"
Running my eye across my [CD] collection is like flicking through a shoebox filled with love letters and postcards from my past: the exhilarating highs, the soul-crushing lows, sprinklings of the drudgery in between.
-- Kris Swales, "Friends mock me for keeping my CDs, but I can't bear to part with these postcards from my past"
And what, you ask, is a life without wonder? It is drab and dreary. It is one of imposed certainty and compulsory routine. It is devoid of splendor and excitement with a bolted doorway to astonishment.
So what, then, becomes of men's passion and intensity? It is rerouted early on into dominance, aggression, and competition.
-- Eve Ensler, The Apology, p. 103
Implicit in wonder is humility. To surrender to what is larger and unknown, to that vast, mysterious universe of which you are a tiny dot.
-- Eve Ensler, The Apology, p. 102
Curiosity is a form of generosity. Implicit in it is the recognition of another, requiring the puncturing of the vain inglorious shell of self-importance.
-- Eve Ensler, The Apology, p. 101-102
... I knew too well the devastating consequences of not being seen, of disappearing in a family that never expressed any curiosity about who I really was, but determined my identity based on their own projections, fears, and needs.
-- Eve Ensler, The Apology, p. 101
I refused to know or see you. And this in some ways was the most destructive and punishing deprivation. Isn't that all any us crave, really? To be known? To be given shape and form by being recognized and cherished? For how else can we trust that we are even here? And perhaps that is why I became so extreme. Because I was invisible to myself, because I had been erased, I needed to find ways to experience my existence and feel my impact on others. For what is violence but energy given substance and force?
-- Eve Ensler, The Apology, p. 100
An apologist is a traitor of the highest order. How many men, how many fathers ever admit to failures or offenses? The act itself is a betrayal of the basic code. It sprays shrapnel of guilt in all directions. If one of us is wrong, the whole structure and story come tumbling down. Our silence is our bond. The power of not telling, of not letting on, is the most ancient and powerful weapon in our arsenal.
-- Eve Ensler, The Apology, p. 83
How much self-awareness does a life of privilege and entitlement afford the entitled? If you are birthed into a particular paradigm that serves you, what would compel you to look outside?
-- Eve Ensler, The Apology, p. 63
Make the victim of your lie the liar. Commit wholeheartedly to this, embellish the story constantly, repeat the narrative faithfully and consistently so that you and everyone around you eventually forget the original lie and certainly lose the compulsion, will, or courage to pursue the truth. Isn't this the story of so much of history? The powerful create the lie, package it, and propel it on its way for all eternity.
-- Eve Ensler, The Apology, p. 59
I have asked myself, What is an apology? It is a humbling. It is an admission of wrongdoings and a surrender. It is an act of intimacy and connection which requires great self-knowledge and insight.
-- Eve Ensler, The Apology, p. 9
I am done waiting. My father is long dead. He will never say the words to me. He will not make the apology. So it must be imagined. For it is in our imagination that we can dream across boundaries, deepen the narrative, and design alternative outcomes.
-- Eve Ensler, The Apology, Intro
The most important thing I've learned is that what you do will never define you for long. Who you are always will.
-- Abby Wambach, Wolfpack, p. 92
What I learned is that the most inspiring thing on earth is a woman who believes in herself, who gives 100 percent, and who owns her greatness unapologetically.
-- Abby Wambach, Wolfpack, p. 66
Revolutions begin with a collective belief. The Wolfpack's belief is that scarcity is a lie. That power and success and joy are not pies. A bigger slice for one woman doesn't mean a smaller slice for another. We believe that love, justice, success, and power are infinite and meant to be accessible to all. Revolutions are won with collective action. We will take action on behalf of all of us. We will help each other. We will rush toward each other. We will point to each other. We will claim infinite joy, success, and power -- together. We will celebrate the success of one woman as a collective success for all women.
-- Abby Wambach, Wolfpack, p. 58-59
Championing each other can be difficult for women because for so long we have been pitted against each other for the token seat at the table. Maintaining the illusion of scarcity is how power keeps women competing for the singular seat at the old table, instead of uniting and building a new, bigger table. Scarcity has been planted inside of us and among us. This is not our fault -- but it is our problem to solve.
-- Abby Wambach, Wolfpack, p. 58
The world needs to see women take risks, fail big, and insist on their right to stick around and try again. And again. And again. A champion never allows a short-term failure to take her out of the long-term game.
-- Abby Wambach, Wolfpack, p. 51
Perfection is not a prerequisite of leadership. But we can forgive ourselves for believing it is. We've been living by the old rules that insist that a woman must be perfect before she's worthy of showing up. Since no one is perfect, this rule is an effective way to keep women out of leadership preemptively. It's time for a new rule.
-- Abby Wambach, Wolfpack, p. 48
Imperfect men have been empowered and permitted to run the world since the beginning of time. It's time for imperfect women to grant themselves permission to join them.
-- Abby Wambach, Wolfpack, p. 48
Women haven't yet accessed the power of failure. When it comes, we panic, deny it, or reject it outright. Worst-case scenario, we view failure as proof that we were always unworthy imposters. Men have been allowed to fail and keep playing forever. Why do we let failure take us out of the game?
-- Abby Wambach, Wolfpack, p. 48
The picture of leadership is not just a man at the head of a table. It's also every woman who is allowing her own voice to guide her life and the lives of those she cares about.
-- Abby Wambach, Wolfpack, p. 40
Every woman is the leader of her own life. Do not give up that power. Claim it. Value it. Use it.
-- Abby Wambach, Wolfpack, p. 40
Here's what important: You are allowed to be disappointed when it feels like life's benched you. What you aren't allowed to do is miss your opportunity to lead from the bench. If you're not a leader on the bench, don't call yourself a leader on the field.
-- Abby Wambach, Wolfpack, p. 40
When we think of leaders, who do we imagine? Politicians? CEOs? Coaches? I know that's who I usually think of. Here's my question: Why don't we think of ourselves? Maybe because our cultural understanding of leadership has omitted far too many of us for far too long.
-- Abby Wambach, Wolfpack, p. 35
I spent most of my time during my career the same way I'd spent my time on that ESPYS stage. Just feeling grateful. I was so grateful for a paycheck, so grateful to represent my country, so grateful to be the token woman at the table, so grateful to receive any respect at all that I was afraid to use my voice to demand more for myself -- and equality for all of us. What keeps the pay gap in existence is not just the entitlement and complicity of men. It's the gratitude of women. Our gratitude is how power uses the tokenism of a few women to keep the rest of us in line.
-- Abby Wambach, Wolfpack, p. 31
Old Rule: Be grateful for what you have.
New Rule: Be grateful for what you have AND demand what you deserve.
-- Abby Wambach, Wolfpack, p. 25
When I was young, I was told: Good girls wear dresses. I hated wearing dresses. I'd look at myself in the mirror when I was wearing a dress and the pit in my stomach would rise to my throat. I'd stare at myself and think: I don't like how this looks or how this feels. This is not me. I felt the need to hold my breath from the second that dress went on until the second I pulled it off. It felt like I was in a costume, hiding who I really was in order to fit in, to be good.
-- Abby Wambach, Wolfpack, p. 18-19
Women must stop following the Old Rules, which exist only to maintain the status quo. If we follow the rules we've always followed, the game will remain the same. Old ways of thinking will never help us build a new world. Out with the Old. In with the New.
-- Abby Wambach, Wolfpack, p. 14
