When people refuse to discuss why they are shunning you, when they give no reason and have no terms of reconciliation, it is because to actually talk about it would be to reveal their own behavior. And their power lies in the ability to command silence about their own behavior. They can only pretend to be neutral if the mechanics of the moment are not discussed. Once sequence and substance are laid out starkly, their responsibility is revealed. Hence, no conversation.
Ties That Bind, p. 122-123