An apology is for the benefit of the bully/abuser ... But it's a mistake to
tell anyone in an abusive situation exactly when they should accept an
apology. Until the victim is completely removed from [the] abusive situation
and has had time to process what's happened on their own, what looks
like beneficial forgiveness can actually enable the abuse cycle to
continue. When the exchange of verbal apology and forgiveness allows
abuse to continue it defeats the purpose and benefit of the forgiveness,
which is to lessen the harm done to the victim… Forgiveness is
renewable and not the same thing as trust which can be lost forever...
If someone's been a victim of bullying at the hands of Mark Driscoll,
for example, they are under no obligation to ever trust him again.
-- Dan Evans, "On Forgiveness and Abuse"
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