Quote of the Day

Can forgiveness for the crimes done to a child be not just ineffective but actively harmful?  It certainly can because the body does not understand moral precepts.  It fights to make our conscious minds admit the truth and transcend our denial of genuine feelings.  This is something children cannot afford to do.  They have to deceive themselves and turn a blind eye to their parents' crimes in order to survive.  Adults no longer need to repress their feelings.  But if they do, the price they pay is high.  Either they ruin their own health or they make others foot the bill.

-- Alice Miller, The Body Never Lies, p. 167

Quote of the Day

The new heroin addiction is connectivity.  The only solution is not one that most people want to face, which is to become lovers of solitude and silence… I love to spend time alone in my room, and in my ideal world the first hour of every day would be in bed, writing down thoughts, harvesting dreams, before anyone phones or you have any Internet access.

-- V. Vale

Quote of the Day

The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable.

-- James Garfield

Quote of the Day

For all its negative aspects, this restless spirit can, at times, be a blessing.  It is the appetite for life that continues to keep one young and alive.  It is the key to inspiration that fuels imagination and creativity.  "Never satisfied!" Walter Matthau once described me to his wife, Carol.  It was not meant as a compliment.  But I take it as one.  There is so much to be thankful for, and I am even thankful for my restless spirit.

-- Gloria Vanderbilt, The Rainbow Comes and Goes, p. 184

Quote of the Day

Arguably Donald Trump can somehow get away with an unprecedented degree of bad behavior because he's Donald Trump.  And arguably, Hillary Clinton has to mind her Ps and Qs -- and everything else for that matter -- because she's a woman.

-- Sally Kohn, "Trump's 'size' is now a campaign issue. How's Hillary Clinton supposed to deal with that?"

Quote of the Day

Only equality creates respect for the law, and only democratic families create democracy.

-- Gloria Steinem, My Life on the Road, p. 105

Quote of the Day

If you are working on something, about to deliver it, moments from opening the doors, an hour from everybody arriving, a week from the release date, two minutes from getting the results back, and you have butterflies in your stomach, be grateful.  You are in a wonderful place.  Nerves are God's gift to you, reminding you that your life is not passing you by.  Make friends with the butterflies.  Welcome them when they come, revel in them, enjoy them, and if they go away, do whatever it takes to put yourself in a position where they return.  Better to have a stomach full of butterflies than to feel like your life is passing you by.

-- Rob Bell, How to Be Here, p. 106

Quote of the Day

Artificially induced positive feelings are not only short-lived, they also leave us in the state of a child hoping against hope that our parents will one day show their good sides, thus relieving us of the necessity to feel anger or fear in connection with them.  But if we want to attain true adulthood and live in our present reality, we must (and can) free ourselves of these illusory expectations.  To do so, we need to admit the so-called negative emotions and change them into meaningful feelings, instead of trying to banish them as quickly and effectively as possible.  Once they are admitted into our awareness, these emotions do not last forever, though in the relatively short time they persist they can liberate pent-up energies.  Only when we attempt to ignore or banish them altogether do they ensconce themselves in the body.

-- Alice Miller, The Body Never Lies, p. 162-163

Quote of the Day

Our songs are conversations, not sermons.  They move out into the world as dialogues, not only to entertain, but to engage.  They come to us to show us the way, and we offer them as gifts, generosities, to those who might receive them.

-- Mary Gauthier, "Mercy (and Love)"

Quote of the Day

There is no greater gift we give ourselves than to be authentic and stand in truth regardless of what the world may think.

-- Dawn Elizabeth Waters, Switching Teams, p. ix

Quote of the Day

To be clear, Donald Trump doesn't ever have to say he's "playing his man card" for it to be nonetheless true.  This is how race and gender privilege work in our society.  Arguably every president in the history of our nation has implicitly played his "man card" without ever having to say so directly, simply because leadership has always been correlated with masculinity.  And up until President Obama, every president also played his "white card" without lifting a finger.

-- Sally Kohn, "Trump maxing out his 'man card'"

Quote of the Day

When I am unhappy or dissatisfied, I recall what Virgil wrote, "Perhaps some day it will be pleasant to remember even this."  It gives pause, doesn't it?  Whenever you're restless or miserable, if you can imagine that at some point you may look back on that moment fondly, it may make the present more bearable.  Even what appears to be a terrible problem may in the future turn out to be a positive change.  You just never know.

-- Gloria Vanderbilt, The Rainbow Comes and Goes, p. 184

Quote of the Day

In some audiences [at college campus events], feminism is blamed for, say, divorce or plummeting birthrates or lower salaries -- instead of blaming unequal marriage or lack of child care or employers who profiteer -- but this is an education, too.

-- Gloria Steinem, My Life on the Road, p. 103

Quote of the Day

Far too often, we don't start because we can't get our minds around the entire thing.  We don't take the first step because we can't figure out the seventeenth step.  But you don't have to know the seventeenth step.  You only have to know the first step.  Because the first number is always 1.

-- Rob Bell, How to Be Here, p. 92

Quote of the Day

Her therapist encouraged her to weigh up the good times against the bad and told her that as an adult she must understand that perfect parents simply do not exist, that all parents make mistakes.  But this is not the point.  The point is that this adult woman needed to develop empathy for the little girl she had once been, the little girl whose sufferings went unnoticed, who was used for the interests of her parents and who thanks to her unusual gifts was consummately good at living up to these expectations, although no one spared her sufferings so much as a thought.

-- Alice Miller, The Body Never Lies, p. 154

Quote of the Day

Dr. King began writing his mighty book Strength to Love when jailed for holding a prayer vigil outside Albany City Hall.  In his jail cell, Dr. King wrote, "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.  Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that."  So it was then, so it is now.  We are all writing from one kind of jail cell or another, working to free ourselves.

-- Mary Gauthier, "Mercy (and Love)"

Quote of the Day

The majority of my adult life took place along the beaten path.  Now, I live on the road less traveled.  This road is unpaved, riddled with potholes, and full of twists and turns.  This road is lined with those who are ready to define their lives and their surroundings based on their own terms.

-- Dawn Elizabeth Waters, Switching Teams, p. viii

Quote of the Day

This weekend, the New York Times ran a story based on interviews with dozens of women who worked with and interacted with Donald Trump throughout his career.  The aggregate portrait is unmistakably skeevy.  Here's Trump making Miss USA contestants line up and watch as he personally ranks which women are hottest.  Here's Trump only wanting the good-looking women in his office to take lunch orders in meetings.  Here's Trump waving around a copy of the New York Post in which Melania boasted that Trump was the best sex she'd ever had.  Here's Trump groping a woman during a business meeting.  It's like reading a script from "Mad Men," except the events are real and took place in the 1990s, not in the 1960s.  Part of the dramatic appeal of "Mad Men" was the contrast with how far we've come since.  Donald Trump, it would appear, didn't get the memo.

-- Sally Kohn, "Trump maxing out his 'man card'"

Quote of the Day

I have never let myself dwell on other people's opinions of me.  Perhaps they thought I was dabbling in acting, painting, or writing, but it doesn't touch me.  If that is what they think, so be it.  You can never change their minds, so why waste time trying?  Why agonize over it?  Better to concentrate on more important things.

-- Gloria Vanderbilt, The Rainbow Comes and Goes, p. 104

Quote of the Day

Sometimes, hostility shows up [at college campus events], and that is educational in itself.  Without campuses in the Bible Belt, I wouldn't know that the belief that women's subordinate role is ordained by God is still with us, or that it can take courage for a student from a strict Christian family -- or a Jewish or Muslim equivalent -- to go to any college that doesn't teach the New Testament, the Old Testament, or the Koran as the literal truth.

-- Gloria Steinem, My Life on the Road, p. 103

Quote of the Day

There may be times when we are powerless to prevent injustice, but there must never be a time when we fail to protest.

-- Elie Wiesel

Quote of the Day

The need for truth is Primal, as necessary as food and water.  And what is the truth?  We belong to each other.  We need each other.  Mercy (and love) are the roads we travel, home.  Spirit blows truth through songwriters on the winds of the creative process, and our creations have the power to free us from untruths.

-- Mary Gauthier, "Mercy (and Love)"

Quote of the Day

Success says, What more can I get?
Craft says, Can you believe I get to do this?

-- Rob Bell, How to Be Here, p. 84

Quote of the Day

Many therapists believe we can find peace through forgiveness, but this opinion is constantly refuted by the facts.  We know that priests intone the Lord's Prayer every day, which means that they pray for forgiveness, both for their own "trespasses" and for those who sin against us.  But this does not prevent some of them from yielding to the repeated compulsion to abuse children and young people, while repressing the fact that they are committing a crime ... Accordingly, I believe that preaching forgiveness is not only hypocritical and futile but also actively dangerous.  It masks the compulsion to repeat.  The only thing that can protect us from repetition is the admission of the truth -- the whole truth, with all its implications.

-- Alice Miller, The Body Never Lies, p. 152

Quote of the Day

It's unbelievable how much you don't know about the game you have been playing all your life.

-- Mickey Mantle

Quote of the Day

I know now that it's never too late to change the relationship you have with someone important in your life: a parent, a child, a lover, a friend.  All it takes is a willingness to be honest and to shed your old skin, to let go of the longstanding assumptions and slights you still cling to.

-- Anderson Cooper, The Rainbow Comes and Goes, p. 8

Quote of the Day

The accusation that feminism is bad for the family leads to understanding that it's bad for the patriarchal variety, but good for democratic families that are the basis of democracy.

-- Gloria Steinem, My Life on the Road, p. 102

Quote of the Day

We must always take sides.  Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim.  Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.

-- Elie Wiesel

Quote of the Day

Mercy and love are who we are, unwounded.  Songwriting (and all the arts) are how we explore the depths of our being to ask the big questions of meaning, purpose and value.  The process is one of self discovery, more than self expression.

-- Mary Gauthier, "Mercy (and Love)"

Quote of the Day

There is a difference between craft and success.  Craft is when you have a profound sense of gratitude that you even get to do this.  Craft is when you relish the details.  Craft is your awareness that all the hours you're putting in are adding up to something, that they're producing in you skill and character and substance.  Craft is when you meet up with someone else who's serious about her craft and you can talk for hours about the subtle nuances and acquired wisdom of the work.  Craft is when you realize that you're building muscles and habits that are helping you do better what you do.  Craft is when you have a deep respect for the form and shape and content of what you're doing.  Craft is when you see yourself [as] part of a long line of people who have done this particular work.  Craft is when you're humbled because you know that no matter how many years you get to do this, there will always be room to learn and grow.

-- Rob Bell, How to Be Here, p. 82