By walking away from the church, I turned my back on an entire life -- friendships and associations that were decades old. In doing so, I also rejected the ethical foundation that had guided my life. I was a ship unmoored. My entire adult existence was founded on the guidelines of Scientology. I thought I was progressing toward a higher state of being. I believed that the church was a righteous force in society. We were going to save the world! Then it was gone. All of it. My beliefs. My values. My purpose. I had to figure out which parts of me were my brainwashed self and what was authentic. Who was I? And who did I want to be? The questions both excited and angered me. Excited because I could finally explore thoughts and feelings that had been asleep for more than twenty years. Angry because I had allowed myself to be conned by a so-called religion based on science fiction, absurdities and deception.
-- Michelle LeClair, Perfectly Clear, p. 277
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