Quote of the Day

Sexism can appear very friendly and very welcoming, so in the paper we said that sexism can act like a wolf in sheep's clothing.  We add that sexism can consciously or unconsciously cloak itself in friendliness, so in a way it's more insidious and treacherous than hostile sexism.

 -- Jin Goh, "Sexism often comes with a smile, study finds"

Quote of the Day

It is possible to find out one's own truth in the partial, non-neutral company of such a (therapeutic) companion.  In that process [with an enlightened witness] one can shed one's symptoms, free oneself of depression, regain joy in life, break out of the state of constant exhaustion, and experience a resurgence of energy, once that energy is no longer required for the repression of one's own truth.

-- Alice Miller, The Body Never Lies, p. 23

Quote of the Day

The most powerful moments of our lives happen when we string together the small flickers of light created by courage, compassion, and connection and see them shine in the darkness of our struggles.

-- Brene Brown, Daring Greatly, p. 160

Quote of the Day

It's perfectly normal to want the people we care about to approve of us -- we all want their goodwill.  But when we must have it, and it becomes a drug we cannot do without, we aim a spotlight at a hot button that a blackmailer can easily zero in on.

-- Susan Forward with Donna Frazier, Emotional Blackmail, p. 104

Quote of the Day

If you can surf your life rather than plant your feet, you will be happier.

-- Amy Poehler, Yes Please, p. 280

Quote of the Day

It's a very paternalistic, protective view of women, and it seems kind of appealing as a sort of chivalry.  But it does contribute to inequality, because these men don't expect women to achieve high goals.

-- Jin Goh, "Sexism often comes with a smile, study finds"

Quote of the Day

The older we get, the more difficult it is to find other people who can give us the love our parents denied us.  But the body's expectations do not slacken with age -- quite the contrary!  They are merely directed at others, usually our own children and grandchildren.  The only way out of this dilemma is to become aware of these mechanisms and to identify the reality of our own childhood by counteracting the processes of repression and denial.  In this way we can create in our own selves a person who can satisfy at least some of the needs that have been waiting for fulfillment since birth, if not earlier.  Then we can give ourselves the attention, the respect, the understanding for our emotions, the sorely needed protection, and the unconditional love that our parents withheld from us.

-- Alice Miller, The Body Never Lies, p. 22

Quote of the Day

Spirituality emerged as a fundamental guidepost in Wholeheartedness.  Not religiosity but the deeply held belief that we are inextricably connected to one another by a force greater than ourselves -- a force grounded in love and compassion.  For some of us that's God, for others it's nature, art, or even human soulfulness.  I believe that owning our worthiness is the act of acknowledging that we are sacred.  Perhaps embracing vulnerability and overcoming numbing is ultimately about the care and feeding of our spirits.

-- Brene Brown, Daring Greatly, p. 151

Quote of the Day

A good friend of mine from college said the nicest thing about my last book, Supergirl Mixtapes; she told me that it made her feel seen.  It made me think about how, even with all the zillion channels and Internet video and everything, there are so many people who don't see themselves in mainstream media, and they don't feel like the mainstream is seeing them.  It made me think about the kind of girls that we were in college, and our friends -- baby artists, queer kids, enthralled with punk rock, reading poetry, hanging about in a dorm room watching a bootleg VHS of Decline of Western Civilization.  I want to write books for those kids, the ones who would rather make art than go to a frat party.  Back in high school, even my teachers called me weird.  But so what?  There are a lot of us who don't fit into whatever the overriding idea of The Norm is.  So, I guess I want to write just to say hello to my fellow weirdos.  Hi, weirdos.  I see you.  You see me.  We're not alone out here.  It's gonna be okay.

-- Meagan Brothers, "Talking Writing, Identity, and Music with Meagan Brothers"

Quote of the Day

If you've ever wondered where "stuffed" feelings and experiences go, your hot buttons are a good place to look.

-- Susan Forward with Donna Frazier, Emotional Blackmail, p. 103

Quote of the Day

Your ability to navigate and tolerate change and its painful uncomfortableness directly correlates to your happiness and general well-being.

-- Amy Poehler, Yes Please, p. 279

Quote of the Day

The imperfect book that gets published is better than the perfect book that never leaves my computer.

-- Gretchen Rubin

Quote of the Day

"Basically, the argument is that these two properties -- hostile sexism and benevolent sexism -- work together to maintain inequality," said lead author Jin Goh, a graduate student at Northeastern University.  Most people think of sexist men as being dominant aggressors who believe that women should be put down in society.  But other men believe that women should be treated with kindness and love, but still don't see them as being capable of achieving the same things as men.

-- Rachel Feltman, "Sexism often comes with a smile, study finds"

Quote of the Day

Only when I allowed myself to feel the emotions pent up for so long inside me did I start extricating myself from my own past.

-- Alice Miller, The Body Never Lies, p. 20

Quote of the Day

(Sister Monica) has a quick answer to people who say "God made them man and woman," quoting the Book of Genesis. 

"God made day and night.  There was also dusk and dawn and twilight.  There's no light switch," she said.  "There are 2,000 kinds of ants and there can't be more than two kinds of people?"

-- Renee K. Gadoua, "Sister Monica's secret ministry to transgender people"

Quote of the Day

It has sometimes seemed to me that I have lived at a certain distance from life.  This changed when Billy and I fell in love.

-- Oliver Sacks, "The tragic story of Oliver Sacks's celibacy"

Quote of the Day

Blackmail takes two.  It's a duet, not a solo performance, and it cannot work without the target's active participation.

-- Susan Forward with Donna Frazier, Emotional Blackmail, p. 101

Quote of the Day

Too often we women try to tackle chaos that is not ours to fix.

-- Amy Poehler, Yes Please, p. 238

Quote of the Day

When two people relate to each other authentically and humanly, God is the electricity that surges between them.

-- Martin Buber

Quote of the Day

A new study examining the nonverbal cues thrown out during interactions between men and women finds that men who have high ratings of "benevolent sexism" -- attitudes towards women that are well-intentioned but perpetuate inequality -- finds that smiling and other positive cues increase when this kind of sexism is prevalent.

-- Rachel Feltman, "Sexism often comes with a smile, study finds"

Quote of the Day

It is my firm and considered opinion that one specific and extremely well-established behavior norm -- the Fourth Commandment -- frequently prevents us from admitting to our true feelings, and that we pay for this compromise with various forms of physical illness.

-- Alice Miller, The Body Never Lies, p. 19

Quote of the Day

If you can solve your problem, then what is the need of worrying?  If you cannot solve it, then what is the use of worrying?

-- Shantideva

Quote of the Day

I stand out in the world, and I love that about myself.  I didn't always feel this way, but I've come to discover that the more I embrace who I am, the more I connect with other people.  And the more I connect with other people, the more I learn about myself.

-- Brittney Griner with Sue Hovey, In My Skin, p. 216

Quote of the Day

The most important thing to take away from our tour of the blackmailer's psyche is that emotional blackmail sounds like it's all about you and feels like it's all about you, but for the most part it's not about you at all.  Instead, it flows from and tries to stabilize some fairly insecure places inside the blackmailer.  Much of the blaming, spin and self-righteousness that have made us feel so bad about ourselves -- often bad enough to give in to the blackmailer's pressure -- is not valid.  It's fear-based.  Anxiety-based.  Insecurity-based.  And those fears, anxieties and insecurities reside inside the blackmailer.

-- Susan Forward with Donna Frazier, Emotional Blackmail, p. 99

Quote of the Day

...as we grow emotionally attached to characters who are part of a minority group, our prejudices tend to recede.

-- Maanvi Singh, "How Shows Like 'Will & Grace' and 'Black-ish' Can Change Your Brain"

Quote of the Day

Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.

-- Brene Brown, Daring Greatly, p. 145-146

Quote of the Day

Benevolent sexism makes men more smiley when they interact with women, and that's bad news.  Men who put women on a pedestal may be the wolves in sheep clothing hindering gender equality.

-- Rachel Feltman, "Sexism often comes with a smile, study finds"

Quote of the Day

Frequently, physical illnesses are the body's response to permanent disregard of its vital functions.  One of our most vital functions is an ability to listen to the true story of our own lives.

-- Alice Miller, The Body Never Lies, p. 19