In the course of time, I realized more and more clearly how the effort of loving someone who had almost ruined my life was doing me serious harm. It was estranging me from my own truth, forcing me to deceive myself, constraining me to adopt a role my parents foisted on to me so early -- the role of the "good girl" forced to comply with emotional demands masquerading as upbringing and morality. As I gradually learned to be true to myself and succeeded in admitting my own feelings, the language of my body spoke out more and more clearly and guided me toward decisions that did it good and helped it to express its natural needs. I was able to stop joining in other people's games, to stop telling myself that my parents had their good sides, to stop confusing myself over and over again as I did when I was a child. I was able to decide in favor of adulthood. And the confusion disappeared.
-- Alice Miller, The Body Never Lies, p. 113
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