Eventually I sat down with a couple of my friends and told them that I knew in my heart of hearts that I was not a man nor a woman and that I was physically uncomfortable with the way that I was presenting in the world. I needed to express my femininity more to feel more secure and happy in my body. I said that I was scared that I would have to compromise my safety for my authenticity, but I needed to do this to survive. I couldn't bear being called a man anymore. It hurt too much. Not just in the physical sense but also the spiritual. Life didn't feel worth living. I felt like I had to choose between the impossible options of self-hatred and harassment.
-- Alok Vaid-Menon, Beyond the Gender Binary, p. 24
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