Quote of the Day

Indeed, this sense of relief in the midst of our grief can be confusing.  Initially, I felt guilty about my excitement at finally becoming non-religious, especially since most of my friends and family remained faithful.  What they saw as the sudden and tragic death of my faith felt – to me – like the merciful pulling of tubes, allowing something lifeless to end.  When I expressed my happiness at no longer being religious, they often experienced my exuberance as inappropriate or disrespectful.

-- Jim Mulholland, "Religious Grief"

Quote of the Day

Some -- though reluctantly accepting my departure -- questioned my motivation for writing about it.  Was I burning my bridges, justifying my decision or hoping to recruit others?  Though hardly immune from such impulses, my primary reason for writing a book was easier to explain.  I'd always written about my inner journey in sermons, books and speeches.  The reflection others did in private I'd done in public.  Until now, friends and family had enjoyed eavesdropping on these internal conversations.  What had shifted was not my inclination, but my audience.  I wasn't writing for them any longer.  I was writing for those moving from a religious to a post-religious life, to ease their pain and encourage their persistence, to offer them what I had sought.

-- Jim Mulholland, "Why I Left Religion, Wrote a Book and Alienated Friends and Family"

Quote of the Day

When I was struggling with whether to leave, I read two types of writing.  Writers like Spong, Borg and Vospar comforted those on the fringes of my religious tradition, calling all manner of disbelief acceptable.  Having written such books, I knew their inadequacies.  The rest were anti-religious.  Dawkins, Hitchens and Harris threw out the baby with the bathwater, demanding total renunciation and accusing religion of every imaginable evil.  Their judgments rang false.  What I sought was someone living in the middle -- appreciative of all the goodness of religion, but acknowledging its ultimate insufficiency for many.  Frustrated, I wrote what I could not find.
 
-- Jim Mulholland, "Why I Left Religion, Wrote a Book and Alienated Friends and Family"

Quote of the Day

For many of us, leaving religion is like leaving home.  For others, it feels like a divorce.  We experience depression and sadness.  When I express this sadness to non-religious people, they seldom understand.  They think my departure from religion a rational decision.  In this, they are wrong.  Leaving was an emotional disconnection.  Some accuse me of still harboring religious sympathies.  In this, they are correct.  I will never see the religious with their cold calculation.  What I see is my grandfather who preached in the lumberjack camps of Northern Michigan, or my mother who played hymns at the piano while I played at her feet, or the genuinely kind people I had the pleasure of meeting as a pastor.

-- Jim Mulholland, "Religious Grief"

Quote of the Day

Many people find separating from their religious past emotionally challenging.  In some ways, leaving religion is like the death of a loved one.  Often, it’s a death after a prolonged illness.  Our faith has been on life support for months, even years.  Though there is sadness at its passing, there is also great relief.

-- Jim Mulholland, "Religious Grief"

Quote of the Day

My seven year old daughter understands repentance, but she still struggles with it.  Like many of us, she finds it difficult to admit her mistakes and say she's sorry.  Thankfully, she hasn't had the task of repenting and forgiving complicated by the insertion of god.  She doesn't have to unlearn these misconceptions.  If you damage someone, God is not the injured party.  They are.  The forgiveness of God is irrelevant if you are unwilling to express and demonstrate your repentance to the one you have damaged.  There is nothing you can do for God that absolves you of that necessity.  Indeed, as soon as you involve God in issues of repentance and forgiveness, you can be nearly certain that you aren't all that interested in either.

-- Jim Mulholland, "Avoiding Repentance"