Typically, in our FOG-filled interactions with blackmailers, the obvious eludes us. That's what makes it so important to slow down and observe. Doing so allows you to explore the vast territory that exists right outside the immediate yes that you've become accustomed to giving to your blackmailers. When you become clear about your decision before you respond to the blackmailer, you can find compromises that quite frequently satisfy you both.
-- Susan Forward with Donna Frazier, Emotional Blackmail, p. 176